Its been almost 2 weeks since I last blogged about the wedding.
It actually feels a little strange because there have been many moments that I wanted to write, and yet for some reason, everything in med had such a hard time I would walk away or just try to do something else. I am not sure why that is exactly, I mean, I love to write, this is my passion.
It wasn't until Wednesday last week, when the 'ship' hit the fan, that I really understood.
You see, when you write, you release everything that has been going on inside of you, onto paper; or on to a computer screen. Its a way of detoxing what going on and renewing what is actually there. Its almost like the moment you decide you need to organize the music that you own; you pull it all down off the shelves, lay it all out, and then one by one, piece by piece, you begin to categorize and to organize.
This is what writing does for many people. It helps them to understand the complexity of their thoughts, to categorize and to 'work it out'.
If I didn't mention it properly on Facebook, or shout it from the rooftops of the Niverville Fair... last Wednesday night, I got the Flu. Not the dreaded H1N1 or any sort of specific flu, just 'the flu'. Your average, run-of-the-mill, standard puking-feverish-aches-in-the-muscles kind of flu. And it hit me like a daisy on a windy day.
Over.
The 'ship' has hit the fan.
I had no idea it was coming; why I got sick or how to stop it... and as nobody likes the flu, neither do I!
The three days that followed the initial delightful experience of convulsing my body over a bucket, hoping to Jesus that my internal organs remained intact; beside my bed after midnight until the wee hours of the full blown morning, found myself almost disappearing into a sleeping bubble of 'never happened'.
The thing that struck me the most, was that when I realised what and why I had allowed myself to get the flu, it all made sense. Your body will let things happen to you when you allow your cell membranes to break down and be filled with disease (learned that from Dr. Caroline Leaf, the brain lady). If you are stressed, bitter, angry, unforgiving... all of those emotions cause your immune system to break down. And if your immune system breaks down, your body allows 'things' to get in and make you sick.
Like the Flu.
You want to know the funniest thing, I COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS. Its true. I could have. You see, as the readers of this blog, you have taken the time to focus your attention on Kyle and My Wedding. And we are so grateful.
And IF, in the planning of this wedding, I can't get out my thoughts or feelings, as I had said that I would, I hold them inside. Anyone will agree that bottling anything (emotionally, not physically because there are many great bottled drinks out there!) inside yourself, is detrimental to your health.
So please take this with the biggest heart. I say it to myself as much as I say it to you reading this. I am sorry for not completely taking you on the journey of this wedding, for fear that writing out the emotional side of the sponsored wedding prep, would only steal time away from our sponsors debuts.
From this moment on, I will write, not only to debut a sponsor, but to let you know exactly what this experience is like. I intent to express the good, bad and ugly about a sponsored wedding. As my readers, you deserve this. And for those of you just reading, please know that I am grateful for your interest, and keep watching for more.
This wedding is the best, hardest, most challenging and rewarding things I think that I have ever committed to doing... and the reward is a lifetime with the most amazing man on the planet (at least I think so!).
Please don't give up on me! With one month to go, i am sure I will do much writing here...
THE BEST IS YET TO COME!
